Posts Tagged ‘Psychotherapy’

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Protected: Well done NHS

December 3, 2010

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What gets you out of bed each morning?

December 2, 2010

If you know me, you’ll know that I’m not so good at the whole morning thing. This is for a few reasons; I’m exhausted. I’m in pain. I didn’t sleep well. I’m depressed. I’m lazy.

This can be especially bad if I don’t have anything specific to get up for. I do try and plan what I’m going to do the night before, but it doesn’t always work out, especially if my plans don’t involve letting anyone else but myself down.

It’s not even like taking a tablet to wake me up would work, because I need to have a reason to get as far as taking the pill.

I want Jesus to be the reason I get out of bed. Not some feelings of guilt. I want peace to know it’s okay to be in bed when I’m ill. I want a motivation that doesn’t leave me in tears. I don’t want to waste my ‘not so well’ days, never mind my ‘well’ days.

In CBT we started to focus on sleep and at some point I’ll be going to a sleep clinic; scary or what!
We decided I should write a list of things that might help me get out of bed, and I wrote a poster which now sits right by my bed, at eye level height so that when I wake up in a morning, once I can convince myself to open my eyes, I see this:

If you have any other suggestions, I’d love to hear them.
I hope it helps!

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Superheros

December 2, 2010
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Protected: New Starts

October 26, 2010

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Protected: Depression and Anxiety Caused by Hormonal Deficiencies

September 26, 2010

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Trust

August 24, 2010

After surviving the early shift on Sunday, I slept the remainder of the afternoon. My flat mate, Maw, was working the evening shift, so when I woke, I was alone. I still wasn’t feeling great, but didn’t want to be alone the whole evening, so I went to church. One thing after another, I didn’t make it ’till the sermon, Rico was preaching. Off hand, I can’t even remember what the passage of his sermon was on, or what the whole thing was about, but I know what stuck on my heart. In reference to suffering, Rico said God entrusts trials on people at certain times… Rico was warning against the dangers of prosperity gospel, remembering ‘others’ in the passages. But I remember feeling that God was saying to me ‘I trust you’ not just with the little mundane day to day things, but with the bigger things, it made me realise that somehow, despite suffering being suffering, that God does use it for good. My testimony, despite my doubt, is worthwhile in His kingdom. That my perseverance, despite my stumblings, do have an impact on other people. I can walk alongside others. I can say I know how you feel. I can make a difference.

But less than a day after this, I was questioning;

Questioning my health? Questioning my ability to do my new job? My financial circumstances? Whether I can afford, money, time and energy to pursue my ‘cello? My instability with PTSD? My desires to study further this year? My gifts? My ability to play the ‘cello? How much chance I will have this year to play with the ASO? My ability to live and look after myself in London? My patience? My very being.

Which reminds me of a phrase once used by a good friend of mine; I wholly rely on God, when I remember.

Trust is a two-way thing, huh?

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Protected: My reactions?

August 19, 2010

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