Posts Tagged ‘Lent’


Reflections from Lent

April 5, 2010

I gave up Facebook for Lent.

I didn’t really miss it.
On Saturday evening, I wasn’t well, and thus was awake when the clock turned to Sunday. To occupy my mind, I decided I could go on Facebook.
I don’t like Facebook;
It eats time.
It makes me feel more depressed.
It eats more of my time.
It keeps me up at night when I should be in bed.
It makes me more ill.
It inhibited my ability to get to church on Sunday and thus celebrate THE END OF LENT. Ironic, huh?
I would thus like to thank all my real-life friends who were able to keep in touch with me via the medium of noFacebook. You are ace.
I wish to know why, when feeling low, why I automatically turn to things which make me feel worse?
I am also confused why, two years in a row, I have found no pictures of me at the LST Ball on Facebook. I don’t know why I bother to make an effort?
I would like to go home, to LST, now, please?

Good Friday?

April 3, 2010
I will alway remember my Dad writing ‘Not a very Good Friday’ on the cast of my broken arm, having fallen from my bike…

I have some amazing friends who have communicated some pretty powerful things about Good Friday here and here.

Yet I feel lost.
I never quite know how to deal with Good Friday?
A number of Anglican churches hold a 3 hour mediation/vigil/reflection type service meant to emulate the time Jesus hung on the Cross before he died. When I was a Verger at the Minster, it was one of those frustrating services; we had so much ‘to do’ before Sunday; cleaning, moving furniture, dressing tables, hoovering, brasses, silver… but we couldn’t do anything while this service was on. Both the Vergers and the Organists would divide up the hours, taking an hour each on the door or at the organ respectively, so it wasn’t down to two members of staff to hold the show. I remember the hour I did; asking visitors politely to ‘come back later’ or ‘enter quietly to join the service’ or to ‘use the other door’ as the Minster is a living Church. I remember sitting there, thoroughly bored. Yet I had deep respect for the members of the congregation who were really engaging with it; knowing that I couldn’t deal with it.
But what are we meant to do with this day?
I windled my Good Friday away with a hair cut, a ‘cello lesson, drinking tea with the Vergers, doing ‘cello practice and making cakes. And ‘Holy Saturday’ I’ve spent in the pub catching up with Charlotte followed by finding bargains in the village charity shop before popping round to Colette’s house for the afternoon to catch up on the last 6 weeks, make food, and watch the boat race. Then returning home to family politics (including arguments over where to go to church on Easter Sunday?!!) It just doesn’t really cut it.
I think I’m avoiding thinking about what we’re to reflect on at this point in the church calendar;
I can deal with the living Jesus, pre crucifixion.
I can deal with the resurrected Jesus.
I can deal with the living-among-us Jesus.
I can deal with the coming-again Jesus.
But what do I do with the no-longer-alive Jesus, the descended-to-the-dead Jesus?
I just can’t.
I first realised this the Easter I saw The Passion of Christ when it came out in the cinema. The brutality, the suffering, the torture, the pain… And as much as I tried, I couldn’t tell myself; ‘it’s just a story,’ because it’s not just a story.
I feel so inadequate.
So irrelevant.
So pathetic.
So miniscule.
So trivial.
So get-over-yourself.
His Sufferring. His Pain. His Sacrifice. His Death.
… those are the things which make it so real.
The ultimate price for life.
And we know what happened next. We know that Christ defeated death. We have that Hope. But what are we to do with Good Friday and Holy Saturday. I can’t go on ignoring them forever.


April 1, 2010

Is my parents Wedding Anniversary; the fools.

I finished playing around with my dissertation essay, and sent it to my supervisor again. I’m confident it’s an improvement, but I’m not so confident my conclusion says what I have actually done, or if I’ve not done what I’ve said I’ve done, or whatever. I’m meeting with my supervisor at the end of the holidays.
I got online in time to book tickets to see Have I Got News For You recording as part of Dad’s birthday present; just hope they give me tickets!! Should get confirmation next week.
I’ve done two lots of ‘cello practice. I like playing the ‘cello. I have a lesson with Sarah tomorrow, which is exciting 🙂
I’ve finished putting filler in holes in the skirting boards in the spare room; I do try and be a good daughter every now and then!
I get to go on Facebook on Sunday! It’s weird how much I haven’t missed it. Although I’ll be the first to admit that is mainly down to the timing of me returning to LST; had I tried it whilst still being at home it’d have been a different story!
I’m hoping that I get chance to do some more reading for Arts and Worship around my parents celebratory dinner. I could start that now; as Dad’s skiving off work this afternoon to go play ships (well, narrowboats!)
I’m very much looking forward to catching up with Charlotte, Colette, Sarah, Victoria and the Vergers this weekend 🙂

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March 10, 2010

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Lent; day 20

March 8, 2010

Herbert Howells – Requiem

Howell’s compositions are most well known in the world of Cathedral Music. Howells wrote the Requiem in response to the death of his 9 year old son, Micheal, who died of meningitis. He bases it entirely on Psalm 121.

1 Corinthians 15:35-49


Lent; day 19

March 7, 2010

Lent 3 in the church calendar

Johannes Brahms – A German Requiem

The text is a series of texts to help console the bereaved.

Psalm 39:4-7, 12-13, Isaiah 40:1-8


Lent; day 18

March 6, 2010

Hector Berlioz – Requiem

Revelation 3:1-6

Berlioz was honoured when he was asked to compose this Requiem by the government, although he had only been given four months to compose and rehearse the work! As it turned out, the performance was postponed, and not performed for another two years!

It is a huge work, and not often heard live, requiring hundreds of singers and instrumentalists. Berlioz’s Requiem is a case study in architectural writing, carefully planned and orchestrated for a large building with a big acoustic.

Berlioz’s main religion was his art, despite having little training in an instrument of his own. He turned the musical norms of the day, music for him was about expressing emotion. Substituting faith for art is a classic form of idolatry (Isaiah 2:8). But Giles explains that Berlioz’s use of scripture an liturgical text can aid us in directing our own devotions towards God.