Posts Tagged ‘Genius’


Lego Cello

October 28, 2010


October 18, 2010

One day… I might be able to think about playing this piece of music, which I have hidden away somewhere! One day… when I’ve learned more than 2 of the Popper studies…!


Beethoven’s Heiligenstadt Testament

January 18, 2010

I’ve been typing up this for my project… I have been really moved by it today and thought I’d share it with you:

O you men who think or say I am hostile, peevish, or misanthropic, how greatly you wrong me. You do not know the secret cause which makes me seem so to you. From childhood on, my heart and soul were full of the tender feeling of goodwill, and I was always inclined to accomplish great deeds. But just think, for six years now I have had an incurable condition, made worse by incompetent doctors, from year to year deceived with hopes of getting better, finally forced to face the prospect of a lasting infirmity (whose cure will perhaps take years of even be impossible). Though born with a fiery, lively temperament, susceptible to the diversions of society, I soon had to withdraw myself, to spend my life alone. And if I wished at times to ignore all this, oh how harshly was I pushed back by the doubly sad experience of my bad hearing; and yet it was impossible for me to say to people, ‘Speak louder, shout, for I am deaf.’ Ah, how could I possibly admit weakness o the one sense which should be more perfect in me than in others, a sense which I once possessed in the greatest perfection, a perfection such as few in my profession have or ever have had.
Oh I cannot do it; so forgive me if you see me draw back when I would gladly have mingled with you. My misfortune is doubly painful to me as I am bound to be misunderstood; for me there can be no relaxation in human company, no refined conversations, no mutual outpourings. I must live quite alone, like an outcast; I can enter society practically only as much as real necessity demands. If I approach people a burning anxiety comes over me, in that I fear being placed in danger of my condition being noticed.
It has also been like this during the last six months, which I have spent in the country. My understanding doctor, by ordering me to spare my hearing as much as possible, almost came to my own present natural disposition, although I sometimes let myself be drawn by my love of companionship. But what humiliation for me when someone standing near me heard a flute in the distance and I heard nothing, or someone heard the shepherd singing and again I heard nothing. Such incidents brought me almost to despair, a little more and I would have ended my life.
Only my art held me back. Ah, it seemed to me impossible to leave the world until I had produced all that I felt was within me; and so I spared this wretched life – truly wretched for so susceptible a body, which by sudden change can reduce me from the best condition to the worst.
Patience, they say, is what I must now choose for my guide, and I have done so – I hope my determination will firmly endure until it pleases the inexorable Parcae to break the thread. Perhaps I shall get better, perhaps not; I am ready.
Forced to become a philosopher already in my 28th year, is not easy, and for the artist harder than for anyone else.
Divine One, thou lookest down on my inmost and knowest it; thou knowest that therein dwells the love of man and the inclination to do good. O men, when at some point you read this, then consider than you have done me an injustice; and the unfortunate may console themselves to find a similar case to theirs, who despite all the limitations of nature yet did everything he could to be admitted to the ranks of worthy artists and men.
You, my brothers Carl and [Johann], as soon as I am dead, if Dr Schmidt is still alive, ask him in my name to describe my disease, and attach this written document to his account of my illness, so that at least as much as possible the world may be reconciled to me after my death.
At the same time, I here declare you two be the heirs to my small fortune (if one can call it such); divide it fairly, and bear with and help each other. What you have done against me you know was long ago forgiven. You, brother Carl, I thank in particular for your recent proven attachment to me. My wish is that you have a better, more trouble-free life than I have had. Recommend virtue to your children; it alone, not money, can provide happiness. I speak from experience; virtue was what raised me in my distress. Thanks to it and to my art, I did not end my life by suicide.
Farewell and love each other.
I thank all my friends, particularly Prince Lichonowsky and Professor Schmidt – I want the instruments from Prince L. to be preserved by one of you, but not to cause strife between you; as soon as it is more useful to you, just sell them. How happy I am if I can still be of use to you in my grave – so let it be. With joy I hasten towards death. If it comes before I have had the chance to develop all my artistic abilities, then despite my fate it will still be coming too soon and I should probably wish it later – yet even so I should be content, for would it not free me from a state of endless suffering? Come when thou wilt, I shall approach thee bravely.
Farewell, and do not completely forget me when I am dead. I have deserved this from you, since I often thought of you during my life, and of was to make you happy; do be so.

Ludwig van Beethoven

6 October 1802

For my brothers Carl and [Johann] to be read and executed after my death.
Heiligenstadt, 10 October 1802, thus I take leave of thee – and indeed sadly. Yes, the fond hope, which I brought here with me, to be cured at least to some degree – this I must now wholly abandon. As the leaves of autumn fall and wither, so too has my hope dried up; I go away almost as I came. Even the high courage which often inspired me in the fine summer days has disappeared.
O Providence – grant me some time a pure day of joy. For so long now the heartfelt echo of true joy has been strange to me. Oh when – oh when, oh Divine One – can I feel it again in the temple of nature and of mankind – Never? No – oh that would be too hard.


Today turned out to be amazing

November 25, 2009

When you’ve not physically been able to brush your hair for 2 or 3 weeks, the thought of attempting to do it myself wasn’t even going to happen, especially with hair as frizzy as mine!
Mum brushed my hair this afternoon. When she’d finished, it was amazing. I was dissapointed, though, with the physical touch thing. Having someone play with my hair is something that really helps me, because of the physical connection. But ever since I remember, whenever Mum has brushed my hair, because she’s frightened she’ll hurt me, she backs off; but slow pulling is more painful than swift pulling; gets it over and done with! I can’t complain, she’s doing her best, but still… I was left feeling quite drained after 45 minutes of hair brushing;, yes, it was that bad!
After a bath and hair was this afternoon, I was actually feeling vaguely human! Harah!

A friend named Dave is coming to visit next Saturday for the day; actually made my day. He said to me: “my waking thought this morning ‘you’re free next weekend, go see Lizzie.’ Most Odd.” I like that thought 🙂

I mentioned this to Dad when he got home from work, his response was: ‘Why?!’ To which I said: ‘Why not?’ Dad said: ‘I know all the reasons why he wouldn’t, so why is he?’ [My father is so complementary of his daughter, not.] So I said ‘when Dave passed through Newark station going to Edinburgh from London and back, he liked the look of the station and wanted to see it in more detail and thought I’d be a good tour guide.’ It was funny at the time.
Turned out later in the evening that he was confused which David we were talking about. He thought we were talking about my Uncle Dave (Mum’s brother) who lives in Chester!

Mum has got flustered already, which is quite funny. She wants to know exactly when he’s coming so she can prepare meals and Matthew’s bedroom if Dave comes up Friday evening. But bearing in mind she’ll be at work 8 – 4 both days, she’s not going to see an awful lot of him anyway! I’m sure we’ll cope even if the floors aren’t hoovered etc. but she doesn’t seem to think so! Bless her.

I have something to hold on to, something to look forward to: Mr Marriott coming to visit. Yay!

I found out this afternoon a dear friend of mine has become a Christian. Awesome.
After messaging her on Facebook, I said if she had any questions, I’d do my best to help. Her response really put a smile on my face; She’d been asking questions at church and getting the sense they thought she was a little overenthusiastic, but she has read a lot of CS Lewis, Stott’s Cross of Christ and is now reading Tozer and Augustine. Which made me think that’s possibly more than the average Bible college student? Or is that just me? I mean, I have so many books I want to read… but we only seem to have time to scan read things… And we complain about time, but she’s a medic and reading this stuff alongside!
Anyway, I know you might be reading this, so the main point I’m trying to say is that it’s fantastic you’ve come to a relationship with our Lord and Saviour. Hazah! I pray that your enthusiasm continues and re-ignites others’ flames 🙂

Happy, Smiley Lizzie.

As part of my present to my brother for Christmas, I bought tickets for him to see ‘Hitler; My part in his downfall’ Spike Milligan theater show in Nottingham. We all went as a family this evening.

Mum, Dad and I wound up on the same bus as both the Guide units from the village going into Nottingham heading to the outdoor Ice rink in the Old Market Square. That was interesting, as there were more Guides than seats on the bus! Good luck taking Thursday Brownies at the same time tomorrow evening!

The Milligan show was funny. I was very impressed with their musicianship and general adaptivity! Using a Double-Bass case as a gun was one of the best moments. And Spike playing the last post on his trumpet, whilst laying on the ground; it’s not an easy thing to play stood upright!

During the second half, they wanted a volunteer to demonstrate the reading of minds. As Spike came down the steps into the Stalls to find his willing volunteer, we had a split second of piercing eye-contact, at which point I looked in another way. It wasn’t until I heard Dad chuckling the other side of Matthew that I realised Spike wanted me to be his ‘volunteer’…! Mum said she thought he’d ‘chosen’ me before he’d left the stage. I honestly don’t know, I was too busy giggling as Spike asked my name, guided me down the isle and onto the stage. At which point they wanted to demonstrate ‘mind-reading’ skills. I was handed a playing card over the top of a curtain which I had to stand on tip-toe to reach! I was then asked to tell the man behind the curtain what the card was, to which I replied ‘Doesn’t that defeat the object?!’ The voice from behind the curtain said: ‘Don’t tell me what to do, I’m the one who makes the rules!’ Mum, Dad and Matthew are sitting in the stalls laughing at me; thanks! So, I told him what was on the card; a ‘7 of Clubs.’ I handed the card, on tip-toe, back to the hand over the top of the curtain, the voice bellows: ‘My goodness, she’s right!’ [Hindsight tells me, maybe I should have held the car to the audience while saying ‘Queen of Diamonds’ or something similar, just because!] Was that it?! Despite the actors being very encouraging on stage, I was left feeling quite embarrassed as I found my seat again, Mum, Dad and Matthew still laughing at me.
Towards the end of the show, Spike sang a love song and put my name in it while pointing towards me. Hilarious!

Obviously, on the way home I didn’t really live it down. So I’m milking it while I can. Teehee. Milligan loves me!

Thank you, Lord.
I want more days like this, please.

But, for some reason, I’ve come over all tearful now I’m home. It doesn’t make sense?
Although, I still haven’t told Dad the truth about meeting his friend John yesterday.



November 21, 2009

As I was downstairs, making a pot of Tea, I was listening to Radio 4 and they were talking about Derek Paravicini.


I am, however, a wee bit jealous of his talent!