Posts Tagged ‘Doubt’

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Protected: Cancer

January 22, 2011

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Protected: Well done NHS

December 3, 2010

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What gets you out of bed each morning?

December 2, 2010

If you know me, you’ll know that I’m not so good at the whole morning thing. This is for a few reasons; I’m exhausted. I’m in pain. I didn’t sleep well. I’m depressed. I’m lazy.

This can be especially bad if I don’t have anything specific to get up for. I do try and plan what I’m going to do the night before, but it doesn’t always work out, especially if my plans don’t involve letting anyone else but myself down.

It’s not even like taking a tablet to wake me up would work, because I need to have a reason to get as far as taking the pill.

I want Jesus to be the reason I get out of bed. Not some feelings of guilt. I want peace to know it’s okay to be in bed when I’m ill. I want a motivation that doesn’t leave me in tears. I don’t want to waste my ‘not so well’ days, never mind my ‘well’ days.

In CBT we started to focus on sleep and at some point I’ll be going to a sleep clinic; scary or what!
We decided I should write a list of things that might help me get out of bed, and I wrote a poster which now sits right by my bed, at eye level height so that when I wake up in a morning, once I can convince myself to open my eyes, I see this:

If you have any other suggestions, I’d love to hear them.
I hope it helps!

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Protected: Changes

December 1, 2010

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A few reasons I find living in central London hard

November 30, 2010

Finally, we have some snow falling. But the ground is wet and it’s not settling. Yet we have the freezing cold temperatures that go with snow. Not fair. My friends in both Northwood and Finchley have good, settling snow.

As I ventured out into Zone 4 on Sunday, I nearly cried.

There were leaves on the ground. Autumn Leaves that crunch underfoot. I enjoyed kicking them as I walked along the paths. In central London, the leaves that we did have here were swept up into plastic bags and taken away for being composted.

I saw frost on cars in the middle of the afternoon. I had seen that in the afternoon, but what I saw next I realised how much I missed; the grass on the verges of road was frozen solid and looked so pretty. I miss seeing that. And hearing the crunch underfoot.

I miss the countryside.

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Protected: New Starts

October 26, 2010

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Protected: Trapped

October 14, 2010

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