Posts Tagged ‘Anxiety’

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Language

December 21, 2011

I love it when Clergy swear; it makes them so much more, well, human.

I don’t think I’d heard a member of clergy swear twice in one sentence until yesterday; I was in Prison, delivering Christmas Cards (as you do) with one of the Chaplains. We also wound up doing a one-to-one (or two-to-one as I was shadowing the Chaplain). We’d spent near on 40 minutes with a very anxious man, who’d not seen his family for months, because they’re all 3 hours away and they can’t afford to visit and his gran is too sick to travel that far, either. He had requested, numerous times, to ask to be transferred to a prison nearer his family (which they do), but he’s not heard anything back, which I’m sure you understand is very distressing for him. So we went to the wing office to ask if they knew anything; and the officers who spoke were being really hard on him essentially calling him a cry baby and trying to play the system (which he said he isn’t, he didn’t want to be put on an ACCT – an obs programme for vulnerable prisoners) and ‘he should have thought about that before he broke the law…’ which is understandable, but at the same time, you’d be a bit down if you’d been in prison months and heard nothing back from all the applications etc. do the prison officers have no compassion? The Chaplain and I walked out the office, down the landing, and said ‘I’m going to swear…… miserable fucking bastards!’ which kinda made me laugh out loud!

Today I was in conversation with another priest, we were discussing a recent set back of mine, (the cause of which shall remain nameless) And in response to some hurtful prose whilst also discussing a difference in culture (and sex), he referred to them with some more colourful language. And, again, I think, I laughed.

On the whole I try not to use bad language; but sometimes I think it helps just to clear the air, to let off steam and feelings about something(or one). And both occasions to which I refer in this post, were, I add, in confidential spaces; they were no prisoners in hearing distance, and the Vestry isn’t exactly consecrated ground, anyway!

N.b. I do not endorse clergy swearing.

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Protected: Cancer

January 22, 2011

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Protected: Well done NHS

December 3, 2010

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What gets you out of bed each morning?

December 2, 2010

If you know me, you’ll know that I’m not so good at the whole morning thing. This is for a few reasons; I’m exhausted. I’m in pain. I didn’t sleep well. I’m depressed. I’m lazy.

This can be especially bad if I don’t have anything specific to get up for. I do try and plan what I’m going to do the night before, but it doesn’t always work out, especially if my plans don’t involve letting anyone else but myself down.

It’s not even like taking a tablet to wake me up would work, because I need to have a reason to get as far as taking the pill.

I want Jesus to be the reason I get out of bed. Not some feelings of guilt. I want peace to know it’s okay to be in bed when I’m ill. I want a motivation that doesn’t leave me in tears. I don’t want to waste my ‘not so well’ days, never mind my ‘well’ days.

In CBT we started to focus on sleep and at some point I’ll be going to a sleep clinic; scary or what!
We decided I should write a list of things that might help me get out of bed, and I wrote a poster which now sits right by my bed, at eye level height so that when I wake up in a morning, once I can convince myself to open my eyes, I see this:

If you have any other suggestions, I’d love to hear them.
I hope it helps!

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Superheros

December 2, 2010
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Protected: New Starts

October 26, 2010

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Protected: Trapped

October 14, 2010

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