Archive for June, 2009


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June 29, 2009

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June 28, 2009

Is really the best policy.

It had been eating me up inside. For a long time, I had been trying to keep it to myself, or at least, from him. Just getting it out in the open, even though he had figured already, made me feel free; Like I wasn’t trying to keep it a secret anymore. I’m glad I let it out. It no longer has a hold to destroy me.

I am also so thankful that things haven’t really changed.

But, I miss you already.



June 26, 2009

Is the day before I was meant to Graduate. Weird.

Today, however, has been another of the awesome days I have had this week. I do not want this to end. But I know it will and the world will feel like it is crashing down around me once again.

I’d like to share with you a little of my day;

Chapel. Was, in my humble opinion, which happens to be shared with a few others I spoke to, THE best Chapel I have been to. Ever. I have very little voice at the moment, due to supporting my peers at both Cricket (we lost, but very close, i.e. within 10 runs, I think) and Football (we won; 5-1. Get in.) matches this week. It’s proving quite amusing at times, too. Anyway, I really gave my all in worship. This is good. I haven’t felt able to do this, for varying reasons, for a long time. God is good. Simon Steer gave the talk; on the Holy Kiss – Psalm 85 and 1 Peter 5. It was good, spoke to me lots, and also funny. Communion, being one body of believers, affirming each other was, fantastic. Praying with four of the people at LST who know me the best was pretty ace too; the touch of a friend meant, the world. Although, I felt unable to help a friend who could have done with my support. Bad me.

Formation group BBQ at Anna’s was pretty special too. Odd how it’s only at the end that I really feel like I belong. David has grown so much and is, of course, adorable. He is very into glasses, which is quite handy, as with eye problems, he will more than likely need to wear them as he grows up. James, Louise, Hannah, Rebecca, Chris, and I, had a really chilled out lunch in Anna, Peter and David’s back garden. Chris’ son, Will, has also grown a lot since I last saw him! But that is inevitable, really.

I returned to LST for tea. Wow, how much I miss college food; or not. A roll, tiny piece of Turkey and some Lettuce. Filling, huh?
This was followed by a much needed two hour nap, in Dave’s room of course; where else?! I will miss this. I will miss not having someone around who knows me so well. Waking up, knowing he is around and hearing his voice makes me happy inside.

Not breaking with tradition, we headed up to the Gate, at Eight. The last night of term, year and should have been my career at LST, but that’ll wait till next year, now. Good times were had. Lots of laughs, hugs and things. Unfortunately, in order for me to be in a fit state for tomorrow, I had to leave early as my carriage awaited to take me back to my current dwelling. But this enabled me to have a bath and early night.

Role on, tomorrow.

I had a good camera day, too. Yay! Keep a lookout on Facebook next week!

I agopolise if none of this was any interest to you, whatsoever. But you started reading it.


My 100th post.

June 26, 2009

So, I’ve been debating what is worthy enough to put as my 100th post…

I’ve been struggling lately with myself. Not physically, but who I am; my personality, my emotions and stuff. You know, when you do something and regret it. I keep thinking I wish I didn’t do this, or didn’t react like that… and then I found this quote from Conrad and it made me realise that maybe I’m not looking quite in the right place at the moment. I am trying to change this. Like happiness is like a butterfly, I guess.

“You don’t get more humble by trying to. You don’t become more loving by trying to. You don’t become more generous by trying to. Focus on yourself and you will fail. You become these things by focusing elsewhere on others, on Jesus.” – Conrad Gempf

On the positive. Yesterday was the best day I’ve had in a good number of years, certainly on the health front. This week is turning out to be one of the best in a very long time too. I want to thank everyone who has played a part in it so far 🙂


A whole in the hand

June 23, 2009

A whole in the hand

The LST library has a phase
once a year in community week.
On my own I’m in a daze,
the task seems so awfully bleak.

Tidying is a funny craze;
Silence is adjourned for the week.

With the music on
and treats prepared,
a day with friends,
moving books is fun!

A careless mistake
to put my weight,
on two abandoned screws.

The pain in the palm of my left hand
made me think of His nail-pierced hands.

He knows every ache and pain I endure;
But my suffering cannot compare
to what He had to bear.

The sacrifice;
to give His life,
which makes us whole.



June 7, 2009


Is a growing place
a beautiful space

But it’s a hurtful place
a painful place

Not what it’s supposed to be
All messed up

People try to help

You don’t want to know how I really feel
Not that you are really listening

Words can heal
But they hurt so much

Short passing comments
Cut like a sharp knife

Stop trying to make me
your little project that you can fix

You are not my Saviour


A Jesus place
With saving Grace


Is a healing place
Find peace


We’re the Bride


Protected: Too much on my mind

June 7, 2009

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