Archive for February, 2009



February 28, 2009

For the first time, possibly ever, I put my iTunes on Random play. The whole lot. Now, I have a pretty large, very random and varied selection of stuff on there, so it was a bit odd at times. I’ve always found it fascinating that music has such power to remind us of memories and evoke emotions.

Dawson’s Creek music reminds me of teenage years.
Elgar Cello concerto; where do I start?
The Scout Symphony, written for the Centenary of Scouting by Rodney Newton. And in which I played a ‘Cello solo in both the premier performance and the recording with the National Scout and Guide Symphony Orchestra. Yet, somehow is comforting.
Steve reminds me of school and CU and the adventures to Greenbelt.
Bach Cello suites. Just beautiful.
John Ireland Cello Sonata. I had a love – hate relationship with that last year for my end of year recital, and my previous teacher. Today it brought back tension and anxiety. I think it’s something to do with it being in G minor, and my not giving it my full attention.
String Heaven; reflective.
D? King of Fools, the first album I bought as a Christian. 
Elgar Pomp and Circumstance is so the Last Night of the Proms. But also my first experience playing at the Royal Albert Hall with All Souls Orchestra for Prom Praise 2007.
Matt Redman, Face Down, reminds me of the struggle I had with God when I was made redundant from The Carpenter’s Arms, Hostel for the Homeless. I must have had that album on a lot during the last month’s notice I think.
The Bare Necessities as performed by the 12 Cellist’s of the Berlin Phil. Love it.
I could go on…
[I apologize that about half that list is Cello-related – I blame iTunes, it probably would blame my selection of music, if it could.]
All the wealth of stuff, that on a day to day basis, I just forget is there, yet has so much meaning.

What it really means to love… our enemies?

February 28, 2009
I was doing some prep. for Keswick. Testing the waters for my concentration levels etc. rather than working. Honest it wasn’t procrastination; I knew I’d get upset if I tried working on college stuff and couldn’t.
Keswick Week 1 this year is looking at Matthew a fair amount. Here’s my thoughts:
Matthew 5:43-48
Jesus starts with the contrast ‘You have heard it said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy…’ As that’s what the Jewish leaders said.
But Jesus’ teaching is distinctive. He says we are to look out for our enemies also – which includes the Gentiles – Woah.
But we are not just to be passive about it, i.e. don’t retaliate. We are to be active in our love:
v43. Jesus tells us to Do good to them, love them and pray for them. 
We pray for the persecutED.
But how often do we pray for the persecutOR?
Christ did it at his death (Luke 23:34)
v45. the fact you are God’s child will be obvious, because God likewise is generous and kind without distinction. When you love your enemy you are showing that it is a ‘like Father, like child’ relationship. You are acting in a Godly way; without discrimination.
Love is not feelings first. Our feelings follow actions.
Father, help us to act in your will, even when we find really hard. Mould us more into your likeness. Father/Child. Amen.

When tiredness turns to tears…

February 28, 2009

So, the nap didn’t work so well. I obviously crossed the invisible line today. How frustrating.

But friends are great.
The last magic pain killer from the GP has been consumed, waiting for it to take more effect.
Will anything get done this evening?

And, why does the second cup of Tea never taste quite as good as the first?

Of being gregarious and glimpses of light…

February 28, 2009

In the scheme of things, today is a good day.

I have experienced better energy levels on the whole. As a wise lecturer pointed out, I have a gregarious nature; in that, I am fond of being with people. So the LST Open Day has had me a little torn…
I managed to catch up with this weeks Bible Reading. God really spoke to me which was awesome. In amongst which, I kept wandering around, talking to folks at the Open Day. People commented that I was looking better, but that I need not to over do it. After lunch, I could feel myself flagging, and various people, including the sensible Liz told me to go and rest. But, I didn’t want to miss out on the excitement.
Then, when I did try and rest, I was in too much pain to sleep. 
But alas, there is a light. I can see the end of this tunnel. 
Thanks for the continued prayers. For now, it’s time for another nap.

Today is Tomorrow and all is well…?

February 28, 2009

Except, I’m actually quite disappointed that no-one told me I’m not playing for the TMW concert. You know, Cello-ing picks me up quite a bit and all that. 

I got up for the rehearsal too. My trusty alarm clock worked today. It’s magic – it finds and puts on my slippers and bounces on my bed till I get up! Which meant I made it to breakfast, where I was still asleep; but got a hug from a lecturer. Odd. That was before I spilt my cereal…
Trying to work out what to do now. I feel a bit lost. And my ‘Cello had a holiday for no reason in Dave’s room – to save carrying him up and down stairs. 
Pain killers is a good start I think.


February 28, 2009

Is LST Open Day.

Do I have the strength to be enthusiastic about this place? The place I love; the place I call Home.

I’ve been asked to play for the TMW Concert/Talk. No idea how that’ll go?
Rehearsal at 10 am; interesting.
My other aims are; 
Read the Bible! – I haven’t managed that for two days in a row. Humph.
Get papers/handouts/notes filed away and a to-do list established from everything I’ve missed.
And, edit my Job Application.
Meet for coffee with a family from my home church whose son is considering LST.
Will that be too much? We’ll see…

I had this feeling…

February 28, 2009

When I was at school learning about Mitochondria, the power house of each cell in A Level Biology and PE, that it had something to do with my M.E. And when we did about the energy systems in PE too.. I just had this feeling it was all linked.

Recently a friend who also suffers with M.E sent me this link:
Yay – It’s not all in my head! But at the same time, I’m frustrated that the NHS don’t seem to be able to offer much. Other than treating secondary issues; the pain, fatigue etc…