If you could ask God one question, what would it be?

I found myself reading Paul Williams and Barry Cooper’s book, If You Could Ask God One Question, last Saturday. It’s a book published by Christianity Explored, dealing with some of the questions which often arise during the first week of the CE course.

Whilst reading it, I was asked; ‘What’s your favorite part so far?’ I cheekily answered; ‘the bit where Jesus saves the day!’ Only to be caught out by the fact that the book doesn’t cover that explicitly.

So, to answer his question honestly, I think my favorite part was the chapter entitled ‘Why Do You Hate Sex?’ Specifically, I liked the analogy they referred to. After explaining how sexual intercourse binds one man and woman together, to deepen the “oneness” of marriage, they use this story:

J Budziszewiski tells the story of a university professor who tried to make this point to his students. Taking a six-inch strip of adhesive tape, he picked the hairiest student in the room, asking him to roll up his sleeve.

“Now,” the professor said, “Tell the tape not to stick.” The student obliged: “Don’t stick, tape!” The professor pressed the tape down on his forearm and said, “Let’s see whether the tape obeys.”

With a single rip, he tore the tape off the student’s arm. The student yelped.

“Let’s try it again.” said the professor, as he pressed the tape down in the same place, and pulled it off again. “Any better?”

“A little bit,” said the student warily. “How many times are you going to do that professor?”

“As many times as it takes for the tape to obey.”

The professor repeated the process five times and each time, of course, the tape was less sticky than the time before.

After the fifth time, the professor said to the student, “Now tell the tape to stick.”

He did.

But no matter how hard the professor pressed the tape on the student’s arm, it simply fell off again. It just would not stick.

They go on to explain that our sexuality is like this piece of tape. We were made to ‘stick’ to one partner. When we break this bond, we become less ‘sticky.’ As time goes on, the more and more meaningless our sexual relations become. We find it difficult to fit with another partner. It’s not only Christian writers who have observed this, either.

Church of Coffee?

Since starting my role as a Church Assistant, I have made SO much coffee. What is it about the church that requires so much time and money to be spent making small cups of a brown addictive drink? I don’t understand.

I don’t drink coffee. I don’t like coffee. I have never liked coffee. Or the smell of coffee. And since beginning Nutritional Therapy, I rarely drink caffeinated Tea. It’s bad for me. And YOU.

The first Sunday we new, shiny Church Assistants were left to fend for ourselves, we ran out of coffee at church. My colleague wound up running to another church building to bring back enough coffee to get us through the whole day. I obviously didn’t appreciate the grandeur of the disaster we were facing at the time! I asked uninformed questions like; ‘Shall we make instant instead?’ or, to the Rector, ‘can you make an announcement during the notices about the lack of coffee..?’ My colleague, by running and leaving us to deal with ‘real church’ while he ran on his coffee hunt, was heavily praised for his good deed of the day.

I am thankful that considering the amount we consume, as a church, that we are a Fair Trade Church. That does a least make it ethical.

Still, I often wonder what would happen to the institution we know and love, called the church, if coffee was banned? People would go into withdrawal. There would be much lethargy. Worship would be bland. Meetings would turn into siestas. And, seemingly, the church would cease to function.

This came to a head for me when, on Tuesday, for a conference held at church, I spent the entirety of my shift MAKING COFFEE!

I texted my good friend, explaining that I spent my whole day making coffee, and asking;

Did Jesus drink this much coffee?!

He replied with that well known miracle in the first chapter of the Book of Coffee;

And the master of the banquet tasted the water, and it had become coffee, because that’s what the Christian’s wanted. And everyone thought Jesus was awesome.

I mean, how could I forget?

If only we were as addicted to Jesus as we are to coffee. No?

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N.B. I would like to make it clear that I do not condemn the social, fellowship, which often occurs over a hot beverage. In fact, I endorse it. I am just making light of the amount of coffee which is consumed in our culture.

Books

Just this evening, on an epic coach journey, I was having a conversation with the wonderful Richard, a music lecturer of mine from LST, about the merits of books, in their physical form. He had explained how he’d been reading The Hobbit this weekend via his iPhone, and how convenient it was for him; that he didn’t have to get out of bed to turn out the light before he turned in for the night, that he could pick up where he left off again on the coach journey, or wherever else he was.

Personally, I prefer having a book in my hand. I like carrying a book in my bag, it may be an inconvenience when the bookmark looses it’s place, but most of the time I am able to find where I had got to with ease.

I like the feeling of holding a book in my hands. I know how much of the book I have read, and how much I have yet to read. The comfort. The smell. The paper. The Ink. The collection of books upon my shelf. All adds that homely, warming feeling to my surroundings.

Maybe I’m not a child of my time?

But I spotted this evening, on my return from Manchester, that Lorraine Sommerfeld has similar thoughts…

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Breakfast Bible Study

Today I had my first Breakfast Bible Study shift. As much as getting up at 6:30am is a little painful, I really enjoyed being at work for 7am; it was fresh and had the added bonus of finishing the days work at 2 enabled me to have a trip over to Northwood to visit some LST folks

I was able to take part in BBS myself, I joined a table to do the study. We’re looking at the 10 commandments in the run up to Advent.

I was really challenged by the three verses we were looking at today; Exodus 20:1-3. We as Christians know what it means to love God, but really, do we actually do it 100% of the time? In 2 Kings 17:9 we read that they were ‘secretly’ against the Lord their God. Ironic, that they tried to do things secretly from their omniscient God! They started out blindly following the other nations, until, before they knew it, they were casting themselves idols. We often feel so distant from the Golden Calf incident, but we, even in the 21st Century, even those of us who work for the church, are not immune from idols.

I was challenged to think about what my idols are today. Obviously, we are surrounded by people who want to get to the top in their work, clothes and the latest fashions are many people’s idol, or the latest car etc… I know that my cello has been an idol in the past, but I realised that some of my friendships have been idolatrous, in the sense that I would turn to specific friends rather than to God. I’m working on it, but I still have a way to go.

It’s simple; Jesus instructs us to Love the Lord your God with all your heart, strength and soul.

I’m definitely going to make an effort to get to BBS even when I’m not working

London-On-Sea?

Why in the middle of the night, well, when I’m heading to bed and attempting to sleep, can we hear so many Seagulls in London? I don’t understand… we’re not near the Sea?

Books..?

As part of our Church Assistant Training and Study Programme, we are expected to do a certain amount of reading. Each term we have a core book which we then discuss together at the end of the term. In the Autumn Term we will be reading God’s Big Picture by Vaughn Roberts, Spring Term will be Cross-Examined by Mark Meynell and Summer Terms reading TBC.

We also need to write a personal reading report on another book of our choice each term. I’ve just started reading The Cross of Christ by John Stott, Rector Emeritus at All Souls. Another suggestion has been to read CS Lewis’ The Cosmic Trilogy. I do have a lot of books which I want to read, but I am wondering if anyone has any suggestions for my reading this year? Bearing in mind I get a lovely book allowance with my job

Thankies

Boxes

If anything, I feel like it’s all too organised. I have everything packed and ready to move to London. I’m not even stressed out (that’s a miracle) that my life is in different piles of boxes;

• There’s a suitcase with my bedding in and bag of stuff for this weekend, ready for me to take on my train journey tomorrow…
• … whilst waiting for the majority of my things to come down with Mum and Dad on Sunday. So there’s a pile of boxes by the front door.
• There’s another pile of things which can come down at a later date, August Bank Holiday Sunday, or whenever my parent’s aren’t on the narrowboat and can manage a trip to London…
• And another pile of boxes which are ‘in between’ it’d be nice to have on Sunday if there’s space in the car… otherwise, they can wait.

I’ve even made a batch of biscuits and a cake to share with my new flatmate and colleagues, which will also be brought to London by the wonderful delivery service that is my parents!

It’s possibly the most organised move since perhaps even before I started at LST. And yet, it feels like more of a milestone; I wont be coming home after a 10 week term. I have the majority of my clothes, not just clothes for the Summer or Autumn terms. I won’t be catered for, and thus have my own cooking ingredients. Etc…

I presume the next time you hear from me, I will be in central London, when I shall fill you in on the adventure

I will be living in the ‘real’ world, despite working for the church

Surely I’m missing something?

Placebo?

Whilst trying to explain to the GP yesterday about the breathing difficulties I can experience, especially during exercise; tight chest and throat and burning pain in my chest… She didn’t think that I had Asthma from her exam. and my Peak Flow results, which is fair play. I got the impression that she thinks it is psychological, which is a fair assumption to make, after all, in the same consult. I was trying to tell her about depression stuffs. But I know the difference between anxiety and panic attack physical symptoms, and those which occur when I’m mentally stable, just trying to do some exercise. She didn’t think an inhaler would help, but gave me the prescription anyway. She told me to take two puffs 5-10 minutes before exercise. To be honest, I didn’t want to take it to the Pharmacy, because she implied that if it did help, it would most likely be a placebo effect. Mum took my script into work, however, and I now have a lovely blue inhaler.

Normally, just walking through my village at a reasonable pace, to the Doctors, Hair Dressers, Bus Stop etc. is enough to make my chest and throat uncomfortably tight. I took the inhaler just before I went out to the Hair Dressers today, a bit reluctantly, if I’m honest. But, despite my doubting the inhalers ability to help, it really did. My chest wasn’t as uncomfortable when I’d got to the other end of the village as it was the day before, walking to the Doctor’s.

Later on this afternoon I was walking through the village to catch a bus. I saw the bus pull up at the bus stop, and I realised I needed to run for it. M.E. energy levels were up for it, but in the past I haven’t even been able to talk to the bus driver having run a similar distance, because my throat has become so tight. I was fine, in fact, only a little out of breath. I was then a little frustrated that the bus waited there for a further 5 minutes or so because it was ahead of schedule!

So the inhaler appears to be helping. But is it just a placebo effect?

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In other news, I had my hair cut, yay! Ironically, it is longer than it was before I went in, but that’s because she straightened it for me, so it’s all lovely and smooth, for now! Although, she did comment on the stubborn short bits of hair that are coming back after the episodes of pulling my hair out. Oops. We also commented on how blonde parts of my hair are in the summer. She suggested I get highlights in the Autumn. I’ve never had any colour on my hair. What do you think?

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