Posts Tagged ‘Narrowboat’
Boxes
August 6, 2010If anything, I feel like it’s all too organised. I have everything packed and ready to move to London. I’m not even stressed out (that’s a miracle) that my life is in different piles of boxes;
- There’s a suitcase with my bedding in and bag of stuff for this weekend, ready for me to take on my train journey tomorrow…
- … whilst waiting for the majority of my things to come down with Mum and Dad on Sunday. So there’s a pile of boxes by the front door.
- There’s another pile of things which can come down at a later date, August Bank Holiday Sunday, or whenever my parent’s aren’t on the narrowboat and can manage a trip to London…
- And another pile of boxes which are ‘in between’ it’d be nice to have on Sunday if there’s space in the car… otherwise, they can wait.
I’ve even made a batch of biscuits and a cake to share with my new flatmate and colleagues, which will also be brought to London by the wonderful delivery service that is my parents!
It’s possibly the most organised move since perhaps even before I started at LST. And yet, it feels like more of a milestone; I wont be coming home after a 10 week term. I have the majority of my clothes, not just clothes for the Summer or Autumn terms. I won’t be catered for, and thus have my own cooking ingredients. Etc…
I presume the next time you hear from me, I will be in central London, when I shall fill you in on the adventure 
I will be living in the ‘real’ world, despite working for the church 
Surely I’m missing something?
Perspective
July 11, 2010Canals change your perspective on the world.
Everything passes you by slowly. You can appreciate the beautiful surroundings. You can stop where you like for the night (within reason). I loved that we stop in the middle of nowhere most of the time.
I spent the week following Graduation aboard my parents narrowboat, Coriander. I wasn’t sure how it would go, spending a long time with my Mum and Dad on a boat, but we had a good time! At the weekend, Matthew was around too, so he was at my graduation day. We all headed into London early on Sunday morning, as I was playing at All Souls for the Orchestral morning services. Which was followed by lunch at Pizza Express with Daniel and others, to celebrate his new job!
I went home on Friday in order to be around for Amelia’s wedding, which was beautiful! The service was perfect. Incredible. It was truly lovely to catch up with Sophie and the Teague’s – it’s been far too long!
The Teague family
(the girls have grown into models…!)
Sophie and I
The following week, Dave and I spent on Coriander. We had a really lovely time… and we didn’t break it… until we were 1mile away from our rendezvous point with Dad!! Dave let me play with his camera, and I now love photography! Here’s some pictures we both took:
Going through the first tunnel
Coming out the other side; we hadn’t lost a fender after all!
Feeding the ducks
Where we moored for the night; so peaceful
Watch out, its me piloting!
Me steering us into the dark, again!
Down the locks…
Building a new marina…
Silhouette at dusk on our last night aboard
As I was saying about perspective, there is a section of the Grand Union canal which runs parallel to both the M1 and the Railway in a valley. But it is only from the canal that you can really appreciate this. Driving along the M1, you would probably have no idea about the canal or railway. From the train, you can, if you’re looking attentively see the canal in fleeting moments. But only along the canal do you really notice this.
I also went to an LST reunion with my original LST year. It was a trek to drive from Nottinghamshire to Maidenhead, and I wasn’t sure if I would really be valued. But, because I promised Dave a lift, I got there. I’m so glad I went! I felt so loved and appreciated by people I didn’t think cared about me. I must make more of an effort to stay in touch with folks…
Whirlwinds
June 21, 2010Last Wednesday I met Dave in London, we went to the matinee performance of the Lion King. I had been looking forward to it for ages! It might have been an error on our part, booking for the matinee, as we were surrounded by lots of school children! All in all, it was good, but going from all the reviews etc. I had expected the general acting, dancing and singing to be much tighter than it was! But the costumes and set made up for it!
After that, we decided to head over to the pub where Matt White was doing a gig that evening. We ate while waiting for the action. We were there as Matt, Simon and Ben arrived – It was ace to catch up with Ben, as I’d not seen him since he and Simon came with Vizaviz on mission to my school in 2004!
Dave took pictures during the gig, which I really enjoyed. On the way back to the station, Dave asked me if I could drive him to his Mum’s house to pick up some things for his holiday, I said we could do it then, as we’d got out the gig by 8.30pm. So we got the tube back to Northwood, and I drove him to Hillingdon and then back to his home in Finchley.
It was at this point that Dave told me some news. Initially I told him I was ‘okay,’ but my body was reacting before my mind, so I was glad it was dark and we were in the car. I drove off, desperately wanting to ask him questions. But I couldn’t bare to be that girl from that film who turns around and crys.
I’ll be honest, I don’t know how I got home to LST. I called to say I was home, after a long silence Dave asked me how I was, to which I was able to reply in words that made some sense. He said he was proud of me, that I’d been able to verbalise how I’m feeling, rather than thinking he would guess.
I spent the majority of Thursday in tears, which was, well, embarrassing.
On Friday, I met a friend from All Souls Orchestra for lunch in Covent Garden which was lovely. He’s just got a new job with the BBC starting at the end of the month.
That afternoon, I got the tube to Finchley, sat in the park, and wrote a letter to Dave, which I then went to hand-deliver to his church. He was around and we hung out; everything was bizarrely normal.
I headed back in to London, meeting some LST folks at Regents Park for a picnic to celebrate Simon’s birthday. We then went to the Open Air Theater to see the Cruicible. It started pouring with rain during our picnic, so the performance started an hour late and we were all snuggling up with our cups of tea trying to keep warm! All in all, it was a fun, but late night!
On Saturday morning, I had arranged to visit Chloe in Willesden as she has a spare room going in her flat, which I was interested in. I really liked the flat, but I can’t commit to it until I have a job… so watch this space!
On Wednesday evening, I had a text from Lucy at Langham Arts Office asking if I was free this weekend to play with ASO in Goring on Thames. I was, so I drove over for the rehearsals Saturday lunchtime. We were staying with hosts, and had dinner at the church that evening with all the host families, which was lovely. Sunday morning was an Orchestral Service, with the local primary school choir. We went back to our hosts for lunch, and then at 3 O’Clock, there was a concert in the church. I had a really lovely weekend, meeting some wonderful people.
Driving home, I was exhausted! And I had promised Mum and Dad I’d go and meet them wherever they had got to with the Narrowboat. They were just north of Watford by the time I got there. So I went to meet them for dinner to wish Dad a Happy Father’s Day and Birthday! He really liked the ‘Keep Calm and Carry On’ mug which I had bought him; then he opened Matthew’s present, to discover he, too, had bought him the same thing! Mum said he can have one at home and one at work now!
All in all, the last few days has been a huge whirlwind…
post exams, post wedding
June 16, 2010Mum Dad and I set off south fairly early the morning after Victoria and Matthew’s wedding. I dropped them off at the narrowboat as they began their two week boating holiday, hoping to get somewhere near Northwood by the end of next weekend.
I drove onto LST and rested. I was so tired! I wanted to go to church that evening, but I didn’t know where, and I didn’t have much energy. I decided, last minute, to go to St Andrews, Chorleywood. The visiting preacher was Vicar of Baghdad, he was brilliant. I’m really glad I went. His sermon was on 1 Corinthians 13:13
‘There are three things that will endure – faith, hope, and love – and the greatest of these is love.’
During the service, I had a vivid picture in my mind, a picture I long to sit down and sketch out myself. I’ll try and describe it though. It was of a human heart. The heart had many scars, some deep, some not so deep. But, despite the scar tissue, the wounds were not only healed, but stronger than before. Which reminded me of a friend’s comment:
‘LST is like having open heart surgery.’
–
On Monday, I rested some more, and later joined Lizzie J, Manon, Nicola and Shemida on a shopping trip to Watford. The girls were looking primarily for outfits for Graduation day. I already had mine, but needed something for Weddings this summer. I was successful in departing with money!!
On Tuesday I had two cello lessons! Greedy, I know, but it’s kinda the way it happened! My first lessons since my final recital which was, in my opinion, rubbish. We began to think about what next with my ‘cello, and my hopes to do the diploma, and I’m really quite excited about doing a lot of technical work. I need it, let’s be honest.
This afternoon I’m meeting Dave, and we’re off to see the Lion King, which I’m pretty darn excited about!
Es ist vollbracht! Finals etc
June 15, 2010Well, if it hadn’t been for the funeral, the wedding to think about, for struggling with my health, and for life generally, it wasn’t so bad! Gah, who am I kidding?!!
My preparation for the Bible and People of God: Then and Now, Biblical Sexuality exam kind of began the weekend before the exam. Don’t get me wrong, I had done a fair amount of reading for this module, but my notes weren’t tidy because I’d not made it to all my lectures, and well, I can’t cope if my notes are in order. Once I’d got that sorted, I chose my exam topic to focus on. I went for the Song of Songs and a contemporary application. By the night before, I had a solid argument, but would I remember it?!! I was stupidly anxious about the exam, but somehow found peace that morning. Scott, bless him, came up to my room to check on me and make sure I got to the exam, in a way someone else who wasn’t there might have done. I felt loved. I was able to write for the entire exam, which was amazing, because I thought I’d get physically tired, which I was, by the end, but I did the best I could! It wasn’t till I got out the exam room that I remembered some of the things I had forgotten, but I didn’t think they were so vital anyway!
It was then time for manic cello practice! I was frustrated, because had I had more ‘well’ time, I would have been able to perform better. I was very blessed to have so many people come and support me, especially those from outside LST: my parents, my God mother, Katherine and her Mum, Derek, Rodney, Daniel, Hazel, David [I hope I've not left anyone out?!] My Cello teacher also came, which was nice, it also turned out that she and Rodney knew each other from orchestras!! It was so nice to have so much support, but if I’m honest, I felt humiliated by the whole experience! Because I was performing about 2 or 3 weeks short of a ‘good’ performance, in my books! The Saint-Seans started well, but I slipped up in places I know I can play so much better, which was frustrating. The Kol Nidrei was alright, but I think I’ve played it better. And the Toccatta was, well, I got through it, I guess. People can tell me I did well, but I know I can do better! It was surreal to have finished all my LST exams! People went out to the Pub to celebrate, but I was just too shattered, and needed to go straight to bed. Sad times.
I took Thursday off, which was needed! Katherine and her Mummy took me out for dinner, which was lovely of them, they knew I wouldn’t have much time on the recital day to see me, and as they’d come down from Yorkshire to see me…! There was a slightly awkward moment, when Katherine asked naively why I hadn’t invited her to read my blog. I managed to answer without frightening her, and her Mum backed me up, even though she has no idea of it’s content…!
I don’t remember what happened the Friday and Saturday, other than joining in games of Frisbee to discover I can’t breathe after 5 minutes which wasn’t too fun. But the Sunday, I visited Finchley, although I kinda ran out of fuel on the way, which was interesting!!! It was funny observing one of the church wardens drift off during the sermon!! We went to the pub for lunch, played Scrabble and then Dave helped me tweak my Language and Worship Liturgy, which we finished. And, as Dave said, finishing my last piece of LST work was a bit of an anti-climax!
But, as Beethoven so aptly put it: Es ist Vollbracht! It is finished. Done. Finito.
I have finished my degree. I had been dreaming of life at LST since spring 2004. I got my place in January 2005. I embarked on this journey in October 2006. It may have taken me 4 years rather than 3 to complete, but I have finished. And, in all honesty, I don’t know how I feel about it!
On the Monday, I finally rang the LST bell for real. It’s an LST tradition to ring the bell in the library (which was a chapel when it was St John’s) to mark the end of assessments at LST.
I packed the car with as much stuff as I could take home and waited for dissertation results to come out, final recital marks were back also. I can’t complain, but to me, they don’t add up! Last year, when I was pretty darn ill, for my assessed mid-year recital for my dissertation, I got 69. This year, I KNOW I played a heck of a lot better, playing 3 times more stuff… I got 66 for the recital. It’s a good mark, don’t get me wrong, but it doesn’t make sense! I also know that there was more than 6 marks difference between my dissertation recital and my final recital! My Head of Department pretty much admitted that the marks would have been different had Chris Redgate still been part of LST faculty. I was also frustrated with the comments on my written submission. Again, 68 is a good mark, I’m not complaining at that in itself. But the person who marked it questioned why I hadn’t looked at Beethoven’s specifically religious works, giving examples. I had done in my research! But due to the very tight restraints of the essay, I focussed on Beethoven’s cello works, and acknowledged in both the introduction and conclusion the tremendous role the other works have in this argument. Gah. Anyway, I got 67 overall. Which is, pretty good for a dissertation, I feel.
I left LST Monday evening, drove to Cosgrove and met my parents off the narrowboat, another leg of the journey nearer to LST completed. And we all drove home from there. I was home for the week prior to Victoria’s wedding
Things and stuff from the last 48 hours
May 24, 2010Apparently it was my Dad’s turn to fall off the narrowboat this weekend. Numpty.
–
I found myself doing my first essay related all-nighter on Saturday night. My deadline was today at 4pm, and I knew that my body and brain wouldn’t function so well first thing on Sunday morning, and as I was playing at All Souls Sunday afternoon/evening, it was kind of my only option. Unless I went with the option of getting another extension, or just missing this one? But I couldn’t cope with that!
I had just about finished cutting and pasting various bits around so that it at least resembled an essay, albeit 700 words too long by 8am, at which point I went to bed. I’m pretty sure for the first hour I spent in sleep paralysis with some shocking ‘dreams’, but hey. Dave called me at 12.30, which woke me up! I don’t remember asking him to call me to make sure I was up, but he did good…! Although initially he asked me what time I stopped working… I don’t think I’ve heard him raise his voice at me before, so it was quite odd. But nice, because I know it was because he cares.
I made it to lunch and then Pete and I headed into London. Because the Met. Line was down, we opted for getting a 282 Bus to Northolt, which would have worked fantastically if we hadn’t waited for about half an hour in the boiling sun for a bus to come! We got there in time, just.
It was really fun to play Pete’s composition with All Souls Orchestra, and to play for an orchestral service again, too
The talk was on Daniel 8. What hit me the most was the last verse, after his vision. V27: ‘I Daniel, was exhausted and lay ill for several days. Then I got up and went about the king’s business. I was appalled by the vision; it was beyond understanding.’
It’s really not surprising that he was exhausted, considering the nature of the vision. But it hit me that ‘big’ things wipe out ‘normal’ people, too. I love how after the vision, he didn’t make a big deal over it, or sell himself out as a prophet. He just got on with the king’s business, that is, his everyday life.
Awesome.
I was very blessed when David Peacock, offered us a lift home. I caught up with some friends I’ve not seen for over a year, some even longer which was lovely. I was sat with Lydia which was fun, until the point when she asked about my arm and I said I’d ‘had a fight with something.’ Convincing? Hmm.
People are still encouraging me to talk to people who need to know. Maybe CBT man? But I’ve not heard from him since he said he’d ring me after Easter. And I’ve been scared to try and call him again. Babs isn’t around at the moment, I’ve been encouraged to email her, but part of me is thinking there’s not much point, I’m ‘okay’ now, and I have no idea how I’d tell her. As I’ve said before, I’ve more chance of telling Adrian or Robert.
I got back to LST and my room on Second Laing was a Sauna. It’s so unbearably hot up hear in the afternoons/evenings. I need to buy a fan.
I was told to go to bed early, and worry about editing my essay some more in the morning. I wasn’t convinced, but then again, I was struggling with walking.
I got 12 hours sleep. Get in. I felt good!
I got my essay tidied up by just after lunch.
But I also had a ‘phone call from Wilmslow. Simon called to say that they were still waiting for one of my references, but that they didn’t think I was the right person. They said it was because they’ll have a new youth and Families Worker and a new Ministry Trainee and that they aren’t in a position to give me the support I’d need. And that I didn’t have enough experience to mentor the girls in the youth group (to which I thought, so you’ll opt for them not having anyone, again?!). Anyway, decision made for me. I didn’t want it anyway, but I guess it would have been nice for me to say that to them… pah.
As my essay was printing, I received an email from Royal Holloway uni to say they will be offering me a place on their MMus Advanced Music Studies course, (yay) but that I wouldn’t be eligible to do the Special Study Performance course or Short Recital course, because I’m not good enough at playing the ‘cello, apparently (boo). I know I didn’t exactly play the best ever, but considering I didn’t rehearse with the pianist, that I had 3 days notice, and that it was the most hectic week of my life, ever, I thought they would have at least spotted potential? Ho well. Gutting, as it was the performance elements of their course which attracted me to it. And, as you may have guessed, playing my cello is what I love doing. Humph.
So… I’m a little bit, well, a lot, back to the drawing board on next year. I don’t have time to think/worry about it for now. It will have to wait until after exams and recitals. But I am thinking along the lines of doing the dipABRSM, working, saving, playing as much as I can and trying again next year, applying to other institutions, too.
But I’m desperate not to live at home. I just have no idea how that will work out practically, and how not to upset my parents, especially my Mum, about this. I want to stick around London, as I have a support network here. As much as I ran a million miles from London when I was first looking at uni’s, it’s become home, you know?
As much as I initially told myself, and others, that I was fine, and wasn’t going to worry about it, I found my body reacting to it this afternoon, so I decided not to fight it.
Rejection, I can deal with. But rejection when it comes to my ‘cello is not so easy. I found myself starting to slide into the muddy pit I was in last week, which was less fun. I need to be so careful at the moment, be so aware of what might potentially trigger ‘it,’ you know? I kept telling myself to go outside, to be in the beautiful sunshine and fresh air. To find people. I need people. And somehow I’ve not continued to descend to that place.
But I managed to get my BPG notes up to date, photocopying a friends notes. So I can now revise without worrying I’m missing something?
I also did a couple of hours cello practice, but the news from Holloway has got to me. Everything sounded awful, it wasn’t nice. I wound up calling Sue, who was supportive, but I’m worried it’ll still be horrible in the lesson with her tomorrow. I just don’t know the pieces well enough.
I saw Uncle Robert late on in the afternoon. He’s awesome. We chatted and he prayed with me. We prayed for peace for me. I need peace, emotionally, physically and spiritually. And not to worry if I have it in one area and not another. Shalom.
Manic weekends and decision making
May 4, 2010This weekend has been crazy, especially as I still hadn’t recovered from Wednesday. For those of you who haven’t seen the photos, they can now be found here, thanks to the wonderfully talented David Marriott.
On Friday evening, Steve, a fellow W3 class mate had his Jazz dissertation concert at Fairfield Church. I’ll be honest, and confess that I went more out of duty than will. But it was good to get out for a bit! I had to make a swift exit, as I knew I needed to get to bed early-ish to survive the weekend!
Fortunately the 10-6 rehearsal with All Souls Orchestra on Saturday, was reduced to just the afternoon (as on Thursday it was decided we didn’t need the Strings only morning rehearsal). I drove to Finchley in the morning, due to some interesting logistics! I got into London and met friends for lunch on All Souls steps.
Again, as soon as we started playing, I just felt so different, so natural, so enjoyable, so in love with music. I picked up 25 FREE tickets for the Arena on Saturday, to give to LST folks.
I had to leave the rehearsal at just gone 4pm in order to meet Dave at Euston for him to ‘cello sit for the weekend… and let him have the tickets, too, to offer to folks from his church, which ended up being much more popular than he thought they would!
I got the train from Euston to Wilmslow, during which time I battled with God over this job; since last Wednesday I don’t want it, really! But if God wants me there, then… I also called Dad and Ed, (the NSGSO cello tutor in Birmingham) to catch up, as I haven’t filled him in since November, when I was really ill!
I was met by Simon, the Vicar when I arrived at Wilmslow station. He seemed nice enough, but I was initially intimidated by him. I had dinner with him and his wife, Dede, we chatted about various things, they seemed more interested in my parents narrowboat than my musical interests! Later that evening, I met Sarah, their daughter, she is currently working in her gap year before going to Cambridge uni, she’s lovely!
The vicarage was so cold, I was glad I’d had to pack my only clean PJ’s, which were my ‘winter’ ones! When I woke up on Sunday morning, I wanted to go home, I don’t want the job! How could I get through the day like that?
I must have dreamed that Simon said that the Bible used in their church was the New Kings James Version and that their main source of music was the English Hymnal! So, I was somewhat relieved to find they use the NIV and Mission Praise!
The morning service aided the idea of the job to grow on me. I met another candidate and his fiencee who were lovely. The church are thinking of having two Ministry Trainees this year, so we weren’t in competition with each other 
)
I went to a couple’s house for lunch, which was a little strange as the husband would interject a natural conversation with slightly awkward questions! I was explaining my testimony and he was jumping ahead the whole time! When we got onto the subject of female preaching we had some nice awkward silences! They explained how as a church, they believe that women have different, not lesser, roles in the church, and that this is very clear in Scripture. To which I thought maybe they should update their NIV’s to TNIV’s!
They were very enthusiastic about the North West Ministry Course, explaining how in the mornings the course goes through the Bible, puts everything in context in the ‘big picture’ to which I thought, ‘so, first term at LST, then!’ The afternoons are more practically orientated, giving opportunity to preach (I need to check where they stand on the women thing!) and how to lead small groups and deal with pastoral issues. All of these things I would gain from, as doing the Music course at LST I have missed that side of it…
I then met with the two church wardens, which was a much more natural conversation. I asked them about the role of women thing, they affirmed what the other couple had said, but insisted that I would be able to teach the woman’s groups and suchlike, it’s just that I wouldn’t be allowed to preach to the whole church family.
It was then time for my official interview with the Vicar. 10 minutes in, he asked me about the 4 theories of Atonement! My mind went blank and I somehow managed to waffle about not having come to a firm conclusion yet myself… but I do remember thinking ‘eek, potentially another hour and a half of this!’ It wasn’t all bad, we chatted more about my degree, about worship, about sexuality and how the church can respond to these issues. We talked about music and although he confessed he isn’t a musician, he encouraged me that I would be able to have time for cello lessons and maybe an orchestra. We too talked again about the women in ministry issue!
He explained to me how the training would work, and although it’s not an accredited course as such, he recommends it. The current Ministry Assistant is an Oak Hill graduate, and he gained a lot from this course, even though he’d been to Oak Hill (to which Dave Marriott reminded me that Oak Hill isn’t LST… so…!)
I then had chance to chat with the current Ministry Assistant, Paul, and his wife, who was very heavily pregnant, due last week! It was nice to see the flat, but if the church decide to have two Ministry Assistants for next year, it’d automatically be given to the guy and his wife-to-be! Which, in all fairness would be better for me personally to be lodging with people, rather than being in a flat on my own! Paul said how excited the church were when they found out a female was interested in the post, as it would mean that I could potentially mentor some of the girls in the youth, which Paul has been doing with the guys…
The evening service was more relaxed than the morning. There was a larger music group, including a cellist and a violin player. I feel the music group has much potential!
Wilmslow is beautiful, I cannot deny that. And it’s position in relation to the Peak District, and even North Wales and the Lakes is desirable. It only takes 30 minutes to get into Manchester, where I am sure I’d be able to find a cello teacher.
My attitude towards the job actually made the day bearable, in that I wasn’t really nervous, or checking everything in my head, I was just myself!
Interviews are just as much for the interviewee to see the place, as to be interrogated by the interviewers!
But;
I want to play the Cello.
It’s not London.
I have no connections in Manchester, bar one.
I don’t know how hard I’d find their view on women in Ministry?
Do I want to be their first female Ministry Trainee?
If the other guy didn’t come, would I be happy living in a flat on my own?
I wouldn’t be paid enough to save towards pursuing Music College later, especially if I were to have cello lessons and still be on the amount of Nutritional Therapy supplements I’m on now!
I want to go to Music College, or do a performance masters.
There aren’t many people in the church in the 20-30′s age group, but I’d probably get over that.
I feel so incredibly torn. If they do offer me the position, I’m going to have to do some serious thinking.
On the train home on Monday morning, I began to get a migraine, which was horrible. By the time I got into Finchley, where Dave met me at the station, I was feeling rubbish and needed to sleep! Dave is incredible, he let me sleep on his bed again, and woke me up to eat food. I cried; I felt so crap. I am so torn about the future. I’m so scared about the next few weeks at LST; how am I going to survive them? He held me and let me cry. I felt bad as I couldn’t stomach a bacon sandwich which he’d just made me, so he made me soup and ate the bacon sandwich himself! And then he sent me on my way home to Northwood, after going via the church to pick up my cello, at which point he complemented my driving, which was lovely!
I received a phone call on Wednesday from Simon, informing me that they want to take up my references before making a final decision, which I guess is a good sign?
I just want closure on it, though.
This post contains happenings and things I’ve been meaning to blog for the last couple of weeks!
April 16, 2010I returned back to the world of LST the week before term started. It was good to go home, but I was glad it was only for a short time. Returning to LST has always been like coming home. Being at my parent’s house, my routine got out of sync. and everything seemed hard work. But it was good to spend time with my parents, catch up with friends. Being able to help around the house was pretty awesome, not to mention the ability to run up stairs which showed a massive improvement in my health since coming back to LST in February.
While at home, I went with Victoria for her wedding dress fitting. How very exciting! This was made all the more interesting because she was in a sling following an operation on her shoulder the week before! The dress maker showed me how to tie her into the dress!
We also talked Hen weekend which was fun
On Thursday I went for a spontaneous picnic with an old school friend who now lives and works in London, Sophie. We were chatting on Facebook chat at lunchtime, and she wanted to go for a picnic to appreciate the good weather! I took along cake I’d made at home, and met Sophie and a friend of hers from work at Regents Park. Unfortunately by this time the sun was setting, so we got cold pretty quickly. But we were too busy enjoying our picnic, chatting and catching up (I’d not seen Sophie for a year), that we didn’t notice how dark it had got until we started to pack up. And then, we realised we were locked in Regents Park! What excitement! Hehe. Hilarious!
Unfortunately I wasn’t so well after that, possibly a mixture of overdoing it and getting a bit cold on the way home; the daytime sun can be so deceiving!
I’ve recently begun my Disney DVD collection, which is very exciting. On Friday a good friend came to visit, we ate food and watched the Jungle Book! Fun times. I’m not surprised why I was so scared of that film when I was a kid!
I didn’t make it to church on Sunday morning, but went with the LST group to St Andrews, Chorleywood in the evening. I found it really hard to worship. I was in a bad place. I just wanted to go home, back to LST. I received a text from Dad during the service and I knew something wasn’t quite right, so I called him straight after the service. He said he thought I’d like to know that mother had fallen in and taken a bite out of the boat in the process. To which I initially thought she’d crashed the boat, damaging it and the force threw her in the water. Then he said she’d done similar to me (in regards to smashing teeth), which confused me.
Dad has been re-designing the cratch, which is the front ‘porch’ of the narrowboat. So they were spending the weekend on the boat, Dad was doing woodwork. He asked Mum to help him with something, after which she either slipped or took a step backwards and ended up in the water between the boat and the mooring pontoon. But she hit her face on the boat on the way, which has misplaced 5 of her top teeth. Thankfully Dad was able to help her out of the River Trent with the help of another boater on the same pontoon.
We’re so thankful that she didn’t get knocked out, as the River has a strong current to it, and she could have been swept underneath the boat which wouldn’t have been so pretty. Although she doesn’t remember falling or hitting her face, just being in the water and thinking she needed to go up! I’m also glad it happened in front of Dad, I think he might have blamed her for being stupid had he not ‘seen’ it happen as such.
Mum has been pretty low this week, she was upset to have missed her colleagues retirement party on Sunday as she was in hospital. Last week I’d helped her choose a new dress for the occasion too! But she’s happy she’ll be wearing it new for my dissertation recital!
She also lost her glasses and her slippers (what was she doing on the outside of the boat in her slippers?!!)
I sent Mum a Get Well card, enclosing a couple of plasters for Coriander, where she ‘bit’ the boat! And I also explained that as much as she likes the fashion advice of her daughter, there are somethings, like smashing teeth that she shouldn’t try to emulate!
Saying all this, she was in work on Tuesday, her reasoning being that she wouldn’t get paid for the first three days off sick, and she said she can’t afford not to work… 
I managed to get some work done before term started, but not quite as much as I’d hoped. I wanted to take advantage of a lecturer’s offer to read drafts of my Arts essay, especially as I’ve not been here all year… but by Tuesday I’d only managed to get a third written.
Tuesday was an overwhelming day, people returning etc made me pretty anxious, just hearing the buzz of more people around college was draining. I realised that this is it; the beginning of the end. I will graduate this year. But I had forgotten about reading for our sexuality module, but didn’t have time to read it. I’d not done as much as I’d wanted for Arts. I still really want to do my Orchestral Arranging project, but hadn’t done much on it at all. I thought I’d been fairly productive over the holidays, but I’m beginning to think not enough.
I received an email from St John’s Wilmslow, they liked my application and have invited me to visit them for the weekend at the beginning of May – straight after my dissertation recital! That week is going to be crazy, with All Souls Prom Praise rehearsals for the RAH gig on May 8th too. [I'm hoping that playing at RAH will take my mind of the date?]
I saw Robert with the written part of my dissertation on Tuesday morning, he seemed fairly impressed and gave me a few things to tidy up I’ve since sent him my *final* draft! Yay! I just need to tidy up my chronology of Beethoven’s life and works, and write my programme notes and add both to the appendices, then I think I’m done. Harah.
Wednesday was crazy. I should have listened to the warning signs. I was struggling even in chapel to stand and sing. Yet lots of people were telling me how well I am doing, and I couldn’t argue with them, but I was hurting. Instead of listening to the pain I ignored it.
I got very anxious when our Sexuality lecturer told us he wanted us to host a two hour debate on the subject of homosexuality in 2 weeks time; that is my dissertation recital day! ARGH
I had a rehearsal with Steve, my pianist for my recital, on Wednesday afternoon. It went well. He’s really impressed how much I’ve improved over the last year which was good to hear It was really helpful for me to play with the piano accompaniment, to get to know how the parts work together. I’m really looking forward to my recital.
Obviously there’s been much talk of politics this term, which keeps meal times lively! I’m hoping to arrange to do a postal vote, but I’m relying on Dad to tell me what to do, how I contact Rushcliffe…
However, Wednesday evening I crashed big time. I felt so ill. I was seeing stars. I wound up on the floor whilst trying to take off my shoes. I put myself to bed early. Thursday, Lizzie woke me up, but I was still in so much pain, it was horrible. Somehow I managed to get to my lectures. I planned on making a bacon sandwich in coffee time, but there was a fire drill, so I didn’t have chance, and then it was lunchtime after the next lecture.
I spent the rest of the day resting, and taking it easy, but trying not to sleep, knowing it’d mess up my sleep pattern. I sat outside in the sunshine for an hour, which really helped my mood as I’d been incredibly low. I was able to tidy my room which made me feel better I picked up in the evening, but soon felt the warning signs returning so went to bed at a sensible time… but I didn’t sleep until 6am!! But, I got to hear the birds morning chorus which was lovely! And I didn’t even think about taking more drugs than I should, which is pretty amazing… I just went with it and watched iPlayer! I was able to sleep until lunchtime today, when I felt better. Although I’d been woken up by Maintenance dept at 10.30 in the roof space above my room and I heard ‘…I’ll go and fetch the poison…’ which made my last hour and a half of sleep more disturbed!
I wore a skirt today, which is usually a sign I’m not so depressed I tried working this afternoon, but have been struggling with my Arts essay. I know there is a blatant link between Suffering and Creativity, but I need to find some scholars who say as much; I only had Rob Bell until this evening! But I think I’ve found some good links now… so hope to make good progress on it tomorrow, so I can send it to Chris
I did practice in Chapel before tea, playing through my dissertation programme, which was really uplifting. I know it’s going to go okay, there are only a few tiny little corners I need to polish now. I just need to be careful not to overdo it! This evening, I put on my dress and shoes that I’ve been saving for my recital, with the hope of trying it with my cello in chapel. But I couldn’t get into Chapel this evening, which was frustrating.
I am looking forward to my lessons in the next few weeks with Margaret and Sue in Eton.
I also got a message inviting me to Amelia’s hen do in June. Exciting times.
On the whole I am really looking forward to this term. I love everything we’re studying. It’ll be exciting finding out what happens next. But I am also sad to think I will be leaving the place I so fondly call home; the people, the security, the support, etc.
I think that is all for now! I’m hoping for a fruitful Saturday and looking forward to Sunday in Finchley!
