Protected: Last week catch-up and todays achievement

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Thinking Day

22nd February in WAGGGS (World Association of Girl Guides and Girl Scouts) is World Thinking Day. [Within the Scout Association it's Founders Day]

It’s a day when members throughout the world come together in their units and districts to consider the meaning of Scouting and Guiding and remember others involved throughout the world. Donations are collected for the Thinking Day Fund which supports projects to help Guides and Scouts around the world. February 22 was chosen as it was the birthday of Scouting founder Robert Baden-Powell and of Olave Baden-Powell, his wife and World Chief Guide.

Each year WAGGGS choose a theme for Thinking Day. This year, in the Centenary year of Girlguiding, the theme is “Together we can end extreme poverty and hunger.”

In my home District, there was a service at the local Methodist Church yesterday afternoon for all the units in our village. Colette and I have both been a bit cynical about it, in that it seems a bit of a cop-out especially as it’s the Centenary and all!

I have been thinking about friends who I have met at various points in my Guiding life, at Internationals, NSGSO and random other places.

• I had a good phone call catch up with Colette.
• I’ve been thinking of Sarah who has just returned to Britian having been working at Our Cabana (one of the four Guide World Centres) in Mexico. She is about to start work in London for WAGGGS – exciting times!
• I received a text from Helen, who I met just recently at Innovate, asking how I was doing back at college
• I thought about NSGSO folks, and was happy to hear that Dad has been asked back again to be Assistant Scouter on this summers course, so he’s responsible for activities and logistics.

I saw Adrian today, he said he thought of me over the weekend, as his daughter had been on a Brownie Thinking Day event in Watford, and came home with a badge for her sash, and Adrian told her about my Campfire Blanket! Heh! I emailed him the pictures to show his daughter!

It was really ace to hear from a Father’s perspective how they really valued Brownies, giving his daughter that ‘girls only’ space which is such an integral part of the movements ethos, despite her being, like I was at her age, a tom-boy!

Carol Singing

My last duty as Brown Owl.

This evening I went Carol Singing at Field House, an old people’s home in our village with the District Guides; we had Rainbows, Brownies, Guides and Senior Section as well as leaders and parents.

Despite asking parents to let me know if their girls were coming or not, I only knew the daughter of the Rainbow leader was coming. In the end we had a handful of girls from each Brownie Pack, and the room was packed.

We all stand looking pretty and then all of a sudden I realise I’ve just been volunteered, by the other District Guiders and Commissioner, to co-ordinate and lead the singing! Thanks for the forewarning!

The girls sang for a good 45 minutes and seemed to enjoy it as much as the old folks did! We used the Bethlehem Carol Sheets, borrowed from the Methodist Church, which I remember being new when I was about 4! So they are a bit dog-eared now!

We were given refreshments in the dining room afterwards, when one of my Brownie Mum’s said how much they’d all (other Brownies and their parents) appreciated me taking Brownies this term. She said what a lease of life I brought to the unit, and all my efforts had been noticed! I am happy that the girls have had a bit more of the spirit of Guiding, rather than it just being another after-school club or babysitting service. And I feel blessed that at least one mother took the time to tell me so. I’m glad I made a difference, the blood, sweat and tears weren’t for nothing!

My Brownies who were there tonight didn’t want me to leave. They don’t want another set of new leaders. They don’t understand what going back to London for 5 months to complete my degree means. For 7 – 10 year olds, June is one heck of a long way away.

I will be missed.

Appreciated

It was my last week at Brownies this evening. The girls’ were crazy. But, I received a box of chocolates from the Brownie that is the biggest pain-in-the-bum to say Thank You for taking Brownies this term and that she’d really enjoyed it. Ace. Except I’m not allowed to eat chocolates.

Today turned out to be amazing

When you’ve not physically been able to brush your hair for 2 or 3 weeks, the thought of attempting to do it myself wasn’t even going to happen, especially with hair as frizzy as mine!
Mum brushed my hair this afternoon. When she’d finished, it was amazing. I was dissapointed, though, with the physical touch thing. Having someone play with my hair is something that really helps me, because of the physical connection. But ever since I remember, whenever Mum has brushed my hair, because she’s frightened she’ll hurt me, she backs off; but slow pulling is more painful than swift pulling; gets it over and done with! I can’t complain, she’s doing her best, but still… I was left feeling quite drained after 45 minutes of hair brushing;, yes, it was that bad!
After a bath and hair was this afternoon, I was actually feeling vaguely human! Harah!

–

A friend named Dave is coming to visit next Saturday for the day; actually made my day. He said to me: “my waking thought this morning ‘you’re free next weekend, go see Lizzie.’ Most Odd.” I like that thought

I mentioned this to Dad when he got home from work, his response was: ‘Why?!’ To which I said: ‘Why not?’ Dad said: ‘I know all the reasons why he wouldn’t, so why is he?’ [My father is so complementary of his daughter, not.] So I said ‘when Dave passed through Newark station going to Edinburgh from London and back, he liked the look of the station and wanted to see it in more detail and thought I’d be a good tour guide.’ It was funny at the time.
Turned out later in the evening that he was confused which David we were talking about. He thought we were talking about my Uncle Dave (Mum’s brother) who lives in Chester!

Mum has got flustered already, which is quite funny. She wants to know exactly when he’s coming so she can prepare meals and Matthew’s bedroom if Dave comes up Friday evening. But bearing in mind she’ll be at work 8 – 4 both days, she’s not going to see an awful lot of him anyway! I’m sure we’ll cope even if the floors aren’t hoovered etc. but she doesn’t seem to think so! Bless her.

I have something to hold on to, something to look forward to: Mr Marriott coming to visit. Yay!

–

I found out this afternoon a dear friend of mine has become a Christian. Awesome.
After messaging her on Facebook, I said if she had any questions, I’d do my best to help. Her response really put a smile on my face; She’d been asking questions at church and getting the sense they thought she was a little overenthusiastic, but she has read a lot of CS Lewis, Stott’s Cross of Christ and is now reading Tozer and Augustine. Which made me think that’s possibly more than the average Bible college student? Or is that just me? I mean, I have so many books I want to read… but we only seem to have time to scan read things… And we complain about time, but she’s a medic and reading this stuff alongside!
Anyway, I know you might be reading this, so the main point I’m trying to say is that it’s fantastic you’ve come to a relationship with our Lord and Saviour. Hazah! I pray that your enthusiasm continues and re-ignites others’ flames

–

Happy, Smiley Lizzie.

–

As part of my present to my brother for Christmas, I bought tickets for him to see ‘Hitler; My part in his downfall’ Spike Milligan theater show in Nottingham. We all went as a family this evening.

Mum, Dad and I wound up on the same bus as both the Guide units from the village going into Nottingham heading to the outdoor Ice rink in the Old Market Square. That was interesting, as there were more Guides than seats on the bus! Good luck taking Thursday Brownies at the same time tomorrow evening!

The Milligan show was funny. I was very impressed with their musicianship and general adaptivity! Using a Double-Bass case as a gun was one of the best moments. And Spike playing the last post on his trumpet, whilst laying on the ground; it’s not an easy thing to play stood upright!

During the second half, they wanted a volunteer to demonstrate the reading of minds. As Spike came down the steps into the Stalls to find his willing volunteer, we had a split second of piercing eye-contact, at which point I looked in another way. It wasn’t until I heard Dad chuckling the other side of Matthew that I realised Spike wanted me to be his ‘volunteer’…! Mum said she thought he’d ‘chosen’ me before he’d left the stage. I honestly don’t know, I was too busy giggling as Spike asked my name, guided me down the isle and onto the stage. At which point they wanted to demonstrate ‘mind-reading’ skills. I was handed a playing card over the top of a curtain which I had to stand on tip-toe to reach! I was then asked to tell the man behind the curtain what the card was, to which I replied ‘Doesn’t that defeat the object?!’ The voice from behind the curtain said: ‘Don’t tell me what to do, I’m the one who makes the rules!’ Mum, Dad and Matthew are sitting in the stalls laughing at me; thanks! So, I told him what was on the card; a ’7 of Clubs.’ I handed the card, on tip-toe, back to the hand over the top of the curtain, the voice bellows: ‘My goodness, she’s right!’ [Hindsight tells me, maybe I should have held the car to the audience while saying 'Queen of Diamonds' or something similar, just because!] Was that it?! Despite the actors being very encouraging on stage, I was left feeling quite embarrassed as I found my seat again, Mum, Dad and Matthew still laughing at me.
Towards the end of the show, Spike sang a love song and put my name in it while pointing towards me. Hilarious!

Obviously, on the way home I didn’t really live it down. So I’m milking it while I can. Teehee. Milligan loves me!

–

Thank you, Lord.
I want more days like this, please.

But, for some reason, I’ve come over all tearful now I’m home. It doesn’t make sense?
Although, I still haven’t told Dad the truth about meeting his friend John yesterday.

This is why I do Brownies

I delegated lots of Brownie stuff tonight.
I had them 3 or 4 at a time in the kitchen teaching them how to light a candle safely… then I remember, that is why I do Brownies… the fear on their faces, but then, one by one, they light a match and a candle and blow it out (no burns or fires!) and the achievement on their faces; priceless. I was very proud of them!

All of a sudden there are two young(er than me) adults come forward re Brownies… now, why has it taken so long? And why have I had to carry it on my own?

When the bottom falls out your world (for a second time) what do you do?

So… I saw my GP this morning.

Basically, she says, what is your priority, cello or your degree… you can’t do both right now. OUCH. But the two are combined..!

I started to cry when I got home from Dr’s… and would, you know, appreciate a hug from Mum, but no… she starts having a go at me about Brownies and Cello and coming home to rest and not doing it… Well, she didn’t say anything at the time when I took it on!! Dad, Conrad, Dave and others thought it was a good thing… a couple of people weren’t impressed… but… I can’t just do nothing. But I can’t do anything.

Anyway, I’ve written an email saying I can’t continue with Brownies after 7th Dec. And I’m indefinitely postponing doing my diploma, which was meant to be something in prep for returning and doing my project recital… Which means I’m not doing my pre-diploma recital on 22nd, which I’m most gutted about the fact I wont be seeing people like Scott, Dave and Katherine who were going to travel to see me play… But I still REALLY want to see them

And,

It hurts.

I feel like I’ve lost everything that I had begun to build up who I was again. It’s a second blow. But my health has to come first. Ouch.

Visitors wanted.

Regaining Life

Over the last month or so, despite various virus’ I really feel like I’m regaining my life. Redefining what I’m passionate about and who I am.

It’s exciting, each time I step back, I can see it.

Last night while I was lying in bed, I realised that, despite my year group from LST having moved on; I have not left. I can legitimately be there. They’re ‘ex-lst;’ I am not. I am not ready to be ‘ex-lst’ just yet.
My dissertation is exciting. I have just found the book of a guy Lizzie and I met coincidentally while buying a Blue John necklace to go with my ‘dissertation dress’ in Castleton last Christmas. He’s written a book called ‘The Harmony of Heaven’ which has an ace section on Beethoven’s Missa Solemnis – one of the key pieces I’m looking at.
I have lots to look forward to with my ‘Cello; recital, diploma, dissertation, recital, Victoria and Matthew’s wedding.
The work for Jubilate, a chance to play with and get to know Sibelius 6. The forementioned author also, coincidently does work for Jubilate and knows David Peacock very well – small world, huh?
The opportunities in guiding to share who I am with the Brownies. The chance to organise the faith tent at the Knotts Centenary camp next year. QSWP – the chance to socialise with Scouty people for the first time in years.

Yet, at the same time, I cannot discern if what I’m doing is the right thing? If I’m trying to do too much? I have all these balls, which seem more like eggs, in the air… even if I do catch them; there’s still a chance they could break in my hands.

And I can’t work out why, when all day long I have been in a lot of pain and felt so rubbish, but just tried to plod along, rather than stop and seize up… that after taking night time medication, some of which is meant to help me sleep, that it is now when I am in the least physical pain and the most wide awake. And I am the most excited about various forms of work! Why not in the daytime?

I thought things were moving forward…

I’m trying not to panic; I’m trying to hold firm.
On to the memories, the glimpses of the well-Lizzie I saw in Lanzarote. I do exist, beneath all this.

But when I’ve had to cancel a ‘Cello lesson for the third week running, I’m not sure you’re even half way there at realizing the pain this causes.

When I returned from Lanzarote, I had ear ache, which following the flight was pretty bad. While I was in Northwood visiting LST the day after the flight, I ended up at the GP’s I used to go to. After fighting the receptionists, I was seen pretty quickly by a GP, who told me I had bilateral ear infections and she gave me anti-biotics. This was just after having lunch with the lovely Miss Jakeman. I had planned on hanging around LST all day, but wound up ringing Rachel almost in tears to ask her to pick me up. I watched Grey’s and slept on their sofa.
The next day, I got the train home. I was feeling awful, it was a horrid journey with my ‘Cello and very heavy suitcase. Mum picked me up from the station and we went home. On Friday I felt so bad I cried at Mum when she called me on her lunch break, that she came home from work early. And then got me an appointment with my home GP, who said it wasn’t a normal ear infection, but abscess’ in both ears. She changed my anti-biotics and I went home.
A week later, my ears were still waking me up in the small hours in excruciating pain, when the pain-killers had worn off. I saw Dr B again and she gave me a third lot of anti-biotics in the form of ear drops… these have certainly helped, but I get pain everynow and then in both ears.

I started to pick up a bit last week, but then had a bit of a sore throat last weekend, so took it easy, but have been down with the ‘flu this week. It transpires one of the Brownies has Swine Flu, and she was there on Monday. Joy.

So, the first week after Lanzarote, I canceled my ‘Cello lesson because I couldn’t cope with sound. The second week, Sarah canceled in caution of her catching anything prior to her ‘op. And I’ve had to cancel my lesson with Sue in York tomorrow because of the flu.

I’m getting quite concerned about my Diploma, and pre-diploma recital in November.
Although, my first rehearsal with my Pianist was promising. And we’ve booked some rehearsals in the couple of weeks before the recital in my village.

I think if I’m going to do well in my Diploma, though, I’m going to need a miracle.

Brownies

So, I offered to our District Commissioner that I might be able to volunteer in guiding this term. I went along to a meeting about the leader crisis at Monday Brownies and left having volunteered to take it on, as Guider in Charge!
I keep flipping from utter panic, to actually I can do it.
After a crazy week sorting out the records and keeping everyone informed, inviting new girls and planning the term, I met the girls on Monday evening. I was expecting it to be quite tough, with half the girls being new and them all being at different schools. But it went swimmingly. The new girls were all paired up with a continuing girl as ‘Brownie Buddies’ to help them settle in etc.
The centenary ‘Challenge 100′ has got me very excited, and the girls were very excited about my suggestions for various challenges… harah! We’re also doing Brownie Traditions and Discovering Faith badges, which have some things we can do in conjunction with Challenge 100. We’re going to visit Southwell Minster and climb the tower – yay!
Having this to sort out has done me so much good – I’ve just begun to feel loads better in myself having things to do that aren’t just for me. And it’s fun!
Brownies are great!